I have been caught up in a storm for the last two months, my entire mood has been completely off. People close to me have noticed a funky little attitude and me just not being my happy go lucky, positive self. I have lacked motivation; my confidence spiraled to an all-time zero; my consistency was nothing short of inconsistent; I stopped doing the things I love and retreated into a shell I temporarily created for myself. I felt absolutely crap but was eventually able to remind myself that I’m only human and it’s ok to not be ok 24/7.
The temporary storm started around the end of July and progressed through to October. I didn’t know back then but one now seemingly small event would kick me in the backside and remind me that I still have work to do on myself. In July I applied for a new role; let me not even down play it, it was the next step in my career and the opportunity to impact lives on a bigger scale. I was in such high spirits at the prospect of starting a new exciting step in my career, but unfortunately it didn’t quite go to plan and I quickly learned that I don’t deal with disappointment very well.
I put all my energy into securing the new role, I literally worked on manifesting it, I envisioned it, I spoke positively about it, the whole shebang. Worst yet, out of 50 hopeful candidates I managed to make it to the final two, I smashed stage one of the interview and was certain that the role was already mine. I walked into stage two of the interview a few days later and aced it in my opinion, only to receive the rejection letter a few days later saying “unfortunately we are unable to offer you the post at this time”. Then another sting came when I asked for feedback on my interview (I highly recommend you do this), I got commended on how well I had done, so I’m sure you can understand my frustration when I had to roll up to my old job the next day. I was devastated, I really did believe that role was mine, and I couldn’t stop crying for weeks; I was crushed. I rarely cry to be honest, but the tears back then were flowing like a Niagara Falls, I was nothing short of a mess. Feeling sorry for myself became a thing and I just felt so disappointed in myself. I’m usually the one to say ‘dust yourself off and get back to the search’, however I completely forgot all of that and allowed the grey clouds to take over.
My positive flow of energy started to diminish and I allowed that one set back to knock me off course, temporarily defeated I can now say I was definitely caught up in my feelings. I stopped doing my daily routine of waking up and immersing my mind with positive thoughts. I stopped writing in my journal; I stopped adding entries to my gratitude log; I started watching stupid shows on television and decided I’d be down in the dumps because that’s what I wanted to do and no one could tell me anytime. Slowly, inconsistency flooded in, I replied to emails as and when I could be bothered; I cancelled appointments; declined invitations; stopped attending functions and as I said got caught up in the storm of disappointment. Some of you might be thinking how dramatic but truth is I’m only human and shit get us down sometimes. Looking back on the last few months, I know it was a necessary process for me to grow through. I have learned even more about myself in the last few months and am now able to fine tune myself a little bit more.
Realigned flow of energy
I navigated my way out of the storm by reinstating all the things I used to do on a daily basis to uplift myself. Slowly but surely I have realigned my positive flow of energy and am feeling good again. I have dusted off my gratitude log; written in my journal daily; plastered positive messages to myself on my mirror every morning; switched off my television and tuned back into the motivational audios I love and step by step I have pieced myself back together again; even stronger this time. The last step I took which I think was a key part of my energy shift was writing a letter of forgiveness to myself. I forgave myself for the temporary grey period in my life and forgave myself for letting a set back throw me off.
After making it through the storm of the grayest months I’ve experienced for a long time, I can proudly say I made it through. I am continuing my journey of seeking out new amazing opportunities and am faithful that the right ones will be navigated in my direction soon enough.
There’s a lesson to learn in every chapter of your life, some chapters are smooth sailing and other will be filled with torrential rain. I’m glad for the storm, because without the storm I wouldn’t have made it through. We all will experience the ‘lower’ points in our lives, seemingly small events can sometimes catapult our energy into an odd place but through it all we will make it through the storm. Some storms may last longer but rest assured no storm lasts forever and a blissful day is guaranteed on the other side.
And so I will leave it there…..
“growth without learning is not growth at all, but growth through challenges is a learning experience in it’s self”- Sade Stephens (my own quote)
If you too are experiencing a storm in your life; knocked down by life’s events or just feeling a little bit crap, the storm will be over soon. Fill up your cup with positive energy, enjoy the things you love and tick this stage off as a lesson learned. If you ever want a little uplift, shoulder to cry on or listening ear of encouragement please don’t hesitate to connect with me !!
With love Sade x